“Love is patience, love is kindness.” It is not proud, it doesn’t boast, and it doesn’t envy. It is not self-seeking and not easily angered. Love does not enjoy evil but rather rejoices in the truth. Love never fails. It protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.

We are often lost in fantasies of romantic dates, perfect evenings, and finding a partner who understands us perfectly. We imagine love as a rush of emotions that lasts forever and picture “the one” as a person who fulfills all our needs. However, this vision is unrealistic. These romanticized ideas about love can lead us to have unattainable expectations for any potential partner, even if they are the real thing.

Here are 3 Facts About Love We Often Forget When We Imagine Our Ideal Relationship

1. Love Is a Choice

   Love is a choice we make rather than a feeling we can’t control. Unlike lust, which can be intense, short-lived, and uncontrollable, love is something we actively choose to feel. You cannot be forced to love someone, no matter what they do.

2. Love Is Not Infatuation

   We often confuse infatuation with love. Infatuation is a surge of emotions that can feel like an obsession. Love, however, is not an obsession. Possessiveness does not come from love. Infatuation fades away after the initial rush, often leading us to seek a new lover. In contrast, love is a lasting emotion.

3. Love Takes Time

   Real love takes time to develop. It is based on trust and knowing a person well—their interests, beliefs, behaviors, and core values. You can feel infatuation or lust at first sight based on physical attraction, but you can’t deeply know, trust, and respect someone right away. Love, admiration, and respect take time to grow and develop. As you build trust, love grows stronger over time. When you love someone, you feel both emotionally and physically secure.

This post was written by a professional at Valenti Matchmaking. Valenti Matchmaking offers discreet personal matchmaking as well as all levels of personal, one-to-one relationship coaching for a select, worldwide clientele of unapologetically selective single, successful, and attractive men and women in search of a compatible life partner.